Monika Hangs a Hammock

I have a Canadian Tire problem.

I can't keep myself away from their outdoor living and garden sections.

And last Christmas I spent hours browsing the decorations, pining for things I cannot have.

But every so often they have a SALE!

Actually quite frequently they have a sale. That is why this is a problem.

This week's sale was a hammock. 50% off a hammock!

I have never owned a hammock before, when I was kid I always asked my parents for a hammock (also a trampoline, and a pool, and a swing set... I received none of these things). In fact, I have never been in a hammock at all!

Then I met my friend over at In the Garden who was helping me with my yard last summer. And she put the thought into my head again when she pointed out that I have what look like 'hammock trees'





Apparently this thought stayed in my head all winter, and so, I bought a hammock.

Then I had a problem. My trees were too close together. I needed 9 feet of space, they only offered me 8. They mocked me with their lack of space (and then they got sap on my clothes)

But I had already purchased the hammock (and been to Canadian Tire for the 3rd time in a week) I did not want to return it. I scanned the yard for other options (the place is an absolute mess isn't it?)



My options were three fold. Use one of the original hammock trees and the laundry line post. Use the laundry line post and a tree way off to the right, or use the tree to the right and the one a little farther back which would put my hammock right up against the fence.

I was worried the laundry line wouldn't hold my weight.



See those scissors in my back pocket? I learned that from my mum. They'll be important later.

The pole didn't wobble as much as I thought and seemed pretty sturdy, but I didn't want to land on my ass, there is nothing worse for a fat person than to sit on garden furniture of any kind and land on their ass, it's just bloody embarrassing and demoralizing. So I dug the dirt away to make sure it was cemented in to the ground. Badger helped.



We discovered that it was! Green light to go.

There's those scissors again. I used what I remembered from my sailing days (don't be too impressed, they didn't last long) to tie the rope around the tree (at this point my mum is probably pulling her hair and yelling about how I'm going to damage the tree by using rope etc etc. Well, yes, I might. But it is a mighty tree. On my next trip to CT I'll probably buy some strapping instead of rope, ok? Ok. Yeesh)

(Oh yeah. My mom reads my blog. She's likely the only person)



Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I had to go inside and double check on the internet if my knot was right. It wasn't.



A short time later all was well and my hammock was up.



All I had to do was get in to it. That was when the scissors in my back pocket snagged in the netting. Fortunately the camera stopped snapping pictures just before the whole thing flipped me over and landed me on my...FACE! haha you thought I was going to say ass. Not today garden furniture, not today.



Anyway. Now my yard looks like this.



And I am a slim attractive raven haired woman in a sundress. That's right. That's how awesome my hammock is.

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