Some random kennel dogs

Tundra

Norwegian Buhund

People often ask me...

Are they fighting or are they playing?

I don't always know.

Road Runner
(semper foot-ellus)

Coyote
(grotesques appetitus)

Ahh! Something's in the kennel!

Oh, never mind, it's just some kind of horse.

That's not funny

Ok, so when I worked fixing windshields as a summer job people thought it was HILARIOUS to drive up, roll down their window, and point at their shattered windshield and yell "Can you fix this!" then they'd laugh and laugh and drive away (note: cracks up to 24 inches in length can in fact be repaired with often excellent results) sometimes they wouldn't even stop the car, they'd just drive by and laugh and laugh and laugh as they pointed to their windshield.

And I had to pretend it wasn't the five billionth time I heard it that week, and smile and be all customer service happy about it.

Truth, it wasn't funny. It was never funny.

Here is the new one. Part of my current job is answering the telephone. I identify the business and then, with excellent phone manners identify myself with "this is Monika speaking"

and here is the reply I get

"Hello Monika Speaking, how are you?"

Here is what I'm thinking "I was fine before you started wasting my time trying to be a fucking comedian!" (I just broke my no F-word rule, I apologize mum)

Of course what I actually do is just smoothly ignore the joke and ask what I can do for them. Sometimes, if I'm extra cranky I say "Pardon me?" and it totally destroys their fun happy times, because the only thing worse than making a bad joke is being forced to repeat it. I think the repeat makes them realize what an idiot they sounded like the first time and lets them know that you noticed they were an idiot.

Anyway.
It's not funny.
It does not make you look clever.

Don't do it.

You know what is a funny joke? Guy points at a bug on the windshield I'm repairing and says "Bet he won't have the guts to do that again" And I laugh and laugh, now that's a funny joke.

...

I'm not sure what kind of statement that makes about my sense of humour.

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I kind of want to kick you in the teeth

"I was in tears one Saturday night because things were getting tough and we couldn’t even afford to take the kids out to dinner like we do every Saturday night." Said a woman who's income recently decreased.

Pause and think about that a moment.

If that is your definition of "tough" sign me up.

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